( The new girl will be introduced to the newspapers with interviews and a photo shoot with the band. Details below taken from the band's press release page.)
Foxy Freedom confirm that they are looking for a new girl to join the band.
The first question everyone will be asking is who can apply?
DANIELLE We have to limit it to humans only.
EMMA Dancing dogs and singing parrots need not apply...
DANIELLE but any foxes reading this can apply as a guitarist if they have previous experience.
LAUREN The easiest way to be heard is to sing something onto a computer and put it on Myspace where we can hear it.
Why are you holding auditions at this time?
LAUREN Recently we have been doing more business and admin than music. The amount of admin is growing all the time.
EMMA We have all become quite good at the business side of things now, so it makes sense for one of us to do more business stuff and to get a new girl for the band.
Have you decided who is going to deal with the business aspect?
EMMA We were thinking that the job is just right for someone with blond hair, blue eyes, and a red coat.
DANIELLE I was thinking it is right for someone who hasn’t got blond hair. Brown hair would be better for admin.
LAUREN What about black and red hair?
DANIELLE The dog won’t agree.
LAUREN No one will agree. That is why we are holding auditions for someone to join the band and not for someone to help with the admin.
What kind of person do you want in the band ?
LAUREN Just an average person who will fit in. Average height, average width and average thickness.
EMMA She means average intelligence.
LAUREN I mean average thickness.
DANIELLE She’s right, photos are very small and we all have to fit in, as she says.
EMMA Anyone who thinks they are the next big thing obviously won’t fit in either.
DANIELLE The photo won’t be big enough.
EMMA ......and who are we to hold them back ? Anyone who thinks that they are the next big thing should go to Xfactor. Simon Cowell will be glad to see them. We just want someone who thinks they are quite good.
LAUREN Someone who is a student at college or university, or has just finished could fit in. Everything can be fitted around a student timetable so there is no problem with that. Have we missed anything ?
DANIELLE The bus home !
EMMA Quick ! Run !